12 not 21

Alright, so I am sitting here listening to throwback songs from the 2000’s and all I can think about is the awkward middle school phase that every child/tween goes through as a rite of passage… HOWEVER, can we discuss how kids are completely skipping that phase now? Like no. Sit down. You don’t get to skip the awkward.

Middle school was a time for flip phones, Myspace, gaucho pants, those bad jelly bracelets (that you later found out had a really dirty meaning), chunky flip flops, digital cameras, going to the mall, and wearing bright eye shadows you thought made you look like the shit. Yet, these kids are completely surpassing this awkward phase and going straight from kid to Kardashian. Excuse me, no.

You don’t just get to surpass the awkward. 

Now, I get that you guys don’t use Myspace, but that doesn’t mean you get to skip the “XD” using phase and posting really bad pictures. Trust me, it makes you actually appreciate the glow up you get when your dues are paid.

How the hell do you have a better phone than I do?

Like seriously? I had a slide up Samsung phone that would get taken away if I lied about who I was texting or if I got grades below a B. It also didn’t have internet on it unless you wanted your parents to kill you for using it. Now kids can call their mom Debra and demand she get them an iPhone 7 or they will “like totally flip out.”

You should not look like you’re about to be 12 going on 21.

I don’t get it, I’m damn near 21 and people still think I’m under 18 or just turned of age. Yet little girl over here looks like she’s about to go clubbing. No. Stop. Go back up to your room, put on that Happy Bunny shirt, poof your hair, put on some gauchos, silly bands, Limited Too shoes, and wear nothing but blue eye shadow. You don’t get to have a better contour than me yet.

Go hang out at the mall and don’t you dare Netflix and Chill…

On second thought… don’t go to the mall because retail workers hate you. Just go to the movies or have a sleep over and watch the Hannah Montana movie.

For the love of God please stop trying to grow up.

Being an adult sucks. You have bills, your parents don’t pay them for you, you can’t just ask them for $10 to go to the mall and they sure as hell won’t get you the newest phone once you’re out of the house.

Sincerely,

Every girl scarred by her middle school days

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2 thoughts on “12 not 21

  1. I adore you and miss you everyday. I am thankful for your awkward middle school days because you have grown into a damn fine human being and I am beyond blessed to know your soul in this crazy life. Love you.

    Like

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